5 Questions with Rags #23 - Chelsea Lou

Anyone who can make me laugh with an inappropriate joke in a slightly inappropriate place is someone I can get behind. Chelsea Lou told a joke about gluten-intolerance and being barren (I can’t remember the specifics of the joke so you’ll have to go see her live to hear it) during a 10am set at Tall Tree this summer and my laughter echoed off the shocked, hung-over, sun-soaked crowd around me like so many marbles in a billionaire’s empty mansion hallway. Luckily she’s around town here in Victoria fairly often it would seem, like at this year’s Rifflandia (10:30pm, Friday, Sept.19, Intrepid Theatre) where I probably won’t see her because I will be dancing, but you should see her and save some dancing space for me! There’s some more ways to find her down below, after you read this delightful chat.



1. Can you think of a movie that had an effect on the way you saw the world?

I think after I saw Reservoir Dogs I started to get a little more assertive as a human being. It was also around that time I saw Goodfellas. I think that started to inform who I became as a woman, in a lot of ways.

2. What’s the first album you bought with your own money?

I bought two that day. The first Spice Girls album and I bought Green Day’s Dookie.

If you had to pick one of those today, which would you take?

Dookie, for sure.

You were very quick to dismiss the Spice Girls there.

Don’t judge me for my turncoat attitude towards them.

Turns out that Chelsea’s answer was a lie. But she’s an honest person and got back at me moments after our chat with the correct response:

It occurred to me that I bought Spice Girls and Dookie with my grandma's money. The first album I bought with MY money was Women in Technology by White Town.

I genuinely don't know what this is.

I genuinely don't know what this is.

3. If you could spend one day with any person living or dead, who would it be and what would you do?

That’s a hard one because I love so many people…I’ve always adored Johnny Carson. Since I was 5 he was a huge role model to me. I’d probably hang out with him, go to a couple of clubs and just watch him do magic tricks and try to impress him, I guess. I’m sure he wouldn’t like me, he didn’t like anybody. But if he was forced to hang out with me all day…

Do you think you could win him over?

Yeah, with my feminine wiles. Absolutely. Are you kidding me?

4. If the planet was ending and you got to escape to safety and got to save one piece of culture from anywhere in the world to preserve for humanity, what would you save?

I’d probably grab the entire Ru Paul’s Drag Race series. Maybe I’m just saying that because I’ve been binge-watching it for the last month, but it’s just a cultural tome. It’s the greatest piece of television ever made, that’s for sure. I think most people would agree. I’m going to have to preserve that for generations to come.

5. Immortality – Do you have any thoughts on immortality? Do you think you might like immortality?

I could take it or leave it. I don’t really treat time as a precious commodity. It might be neat to have some kind of Infinity Mode, no clock situation, so I can piss away time without the tension of guilt. Maybe that appeals to me but eternity could get boring. I’m a little split on that one.

6. The guest question is one I reached back to grab and it’s from folk singer Dan Bern…If there was a movie being made about you, who would you want to play you?

I don’t know…looks-wise I might be a Cristina Ricci type. Character wise I would mind, God, I don’t really relate to many women, so I don’t know…

Well, we could go for a Cate Blanchett playing Bob Dylan kind of thing and you could pick a guy…

Hey, now we’re talking. You know what would be great? Bruce Lee. If Bruce Lee could come back from the dead and play me I would die a happy woman. He would be flawless.

Follow Chelsea Lou on Twitter @chuphoff

Check her out on Sept. 15 at the Comedy Night at the Maple Room (Strathcona) for just $5